Or, more aptly, Traitors-Are-Texas.

Which is about the right grammar structure for Texas’ school system, I’d think.

What am I on about here…well, it’s this Rick Perry fellow.  You know, one of the folks who was just recently announced as a candidate for the presidency?  Yeah, that Rick Perry.

Look, I know most of you aren’t stupid enough to get fooled into voting in another retard governor from Texas, but just in case, let’s look over a little view of what Perry’s stance is on the Federal government.

In case you’re short on time, a summary:

1.  Do away with lifetime tenure for Federal judges.

So, you know, the Congress will get stuck in endless confirmation hearings which Republican obstructionists will filibuster anyway.  Because, you know, any judge that makes a ruling other than “Republicans win” is legislating from the bench.

2.  Congress should be able to override the Supreme Court with a 2/3 vote.

Yeah, don’t want that pesky Constitution getting in the way when we pass our bills of attainder and violations of the Bill of Rights.  This way, Wall Street can buy two branches for the price of one!

3.  Repeal the 16th Amendment and end Federal Income tax.

Because who needs roads, airports, emergency response services, federal law enforcement, and oh yeah, national defense?

4.  Repeal the 17th Amendment, ending direct election of Senators.

Because all you Little People shouldn’t be concerned with who sits for you in the Senate now, you’ll be far too busy working low wage jobs at Wal-Mart or in your local strip-mine.

5.  Require the Federal government to balance its budget every year.

How is it that when Republicans are in office, they totally fuck up our finances, then as soon as they’re out, “Ooohhhh, what a mess the books are!  Balance that!”  They’ve got some fucking balls.  It’s like stealing your wife’s credit card, running up an enormous bill at Bass Pro Shops, and then bitching at her because her card is maxed out.  Pathetic little weasels.

Given #3 above, even a Republican in office should be able to do that – $0 in, $0 out.

6.  Add an amendment to the Constitution defining marriage as a man and a woman.  

Yeah, because we have to insert something to fill in the spaces on his paper copy where the 16th and 17th went.  Never mind that the 14th Amendment will step in and conflict, but hey, when it comes to pushing religion’s dirty laundry where it isn’t needed, the GOP swoops to the rescue!

7.  Add an amendment to the Constitution banning abortion throughout the country.

Because nothing says loving like telling women that they’re little more than apartment buildings for fetuses.  I’m so sick of pro-lifers hypocritical bullshit I can’t even begin to describe it here – that’d be a whole different post.  But although I generally view the procedure to be something I don’t like, I am a man.  I will never have to carry a child to term.  I have never had, and will never have, a pregnancy that threatens my life or health.

And any man who arrogates himself to speak out against womens’ freedom to choose whether to take that kind of risk should hang by the neck until dead.  Period, end of story.  Get it through your heads, guys:  it isn’t your business.  At best, if it’s your partner, she’ll give you input.  But you don’t hold ownership over any part of that decision, and if you insist otherwise, you are out of line.

Furthermore, the entire abortion discussion is a religious one.  Religion being a totally laughable cause in the first place, it is in the second place against the principles of our country to shove your religious clap-trap onto other people. 

So…seven reasons to dismiss the GOP from the stage, and relegate them to the dumpster of history.  Perry’s little manifesto sounds a little like a rehash of the traitors who were responsible for the Civil War, really.  His list spells nothing less than the destruction of the Federal Government of the United States – an end to our country.

Sure looks like treason to me.  And if it is, then it’s time for a trial, conviction, and execution.  Maybe even throw in some “enhanced interrogation techniques” for good measure.

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