{"id":35,"date":"2011-05-16T11:39:28","date_gmt":"2011-05-16T09:39:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/borkedcode.com\/wp\/?page_id=35"},"modified":"2011-05-16T11:41:21","modified_gmt":"2011-05-16T09:41:21","slug":"06-backstory-darl-knade-4","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/borkedcode.com\/wp\/?page_id=35","title":{"rendered":"06 Backstory &#8211; Darl-Knade 4"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The days, and all three towns, passed quickly. Azrael made sure his men were fed well &#8211; with so many pigs to choose from, pork became a standard among the traveling war band. Their travel between the townships was for the most part uneventful. Kaenig suffered a broken arm between Oer&#8217;water and Morgush, victim of a thrown boulder by a hill giant trying to intercept he and Miranda as they rode up to evacuate Morgush. Kaenig&#8217;s arm was treated, and all the livestock painted up in offering to the oncoming horde of drakes.<\/p>\n<p>Once the job was completed, Azrael sent three of his swordsmen on to connect up with the forces of Cairn Jale and to pass on word of their progress, looping far around the expected location of the Arkhosian army. The rest he took on a more lateral path, towards the Bonegate. Five days after the first town, they camped at the foot of Stormhowl Peak.<\/p>\n<p>Badham&#8217;s wall rose out of the flat plains as if a continental tablecloth had somehow developed a massive wrinkle, the peaks extending as far as the eye could see to either side, with a short smattering of foothills leading directly to enormous mountains, most ten thousand feet or more in the sky. The prevailing winds packed up against the range, and as the air was forced to rise, its heavy load of water would condense first into visible cloud, and then as it piled up against the mountains, rain. Thunder rolled almost constantly, and Stormhowl peak seemed the focus of the perpetual storm&#8217;s wrath.<\/p>\n<p>The band set themselves down and established a small camp. Diran&#8217;s magicians started a mystical campfire that burned no wood but produced dim light and plenty of heat &#8211; for the wood here was soaked in the everpresent fog, drizzle, and downpours. The set of oilcloth tents were erected and camouflaged beneath the boughs of evergreens, and watches were set.<\/p>\n<p>Azrael, Miranda, and Kaenig went up the mountain.<\/p>\n<p>Over the course of the following two days, they covered perhaps two-thirds of the distance up. Miranda almost fell from a tight shelf as they walked around it, blown by a massive gust of wind &#8211; Kaenig&#8217;s insistence that they be roped together earned him an enthusiastic kiss once the two of them pulled her back up onto the ledge. Azrael didn&#8217;t begrudge them the moment, even though he had to spend five minutes calming his heart &#8211; her fall had almost pulled him over as well, which would have killed all three of them.<\/p>\n<p>That evening, in their rope-tricked camp, they discussed the upcoming day.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Azrael, may I take the lead on this?&#8221; Kaenig was almost pleading, he was so eager. &#8220;I&#8217;ve studied this language for years, to finally use it in conversation would be spectacular!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Kaenig, to finally use it in conversation and not have the beast rip you in half for calling him something stupid with a mispronounced word would be spectacular.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m sure he would be impressed by my use of his language, Az.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Kaenig, did they teach you nothing of draconic culture while teaching you the language? What part of arrogant, violent, bastardliness for the sake of spite did you not pick up? Look how close the word &#8216;fork&#8217; is to the word &#8216;****&#8217;. If you aren&#8217;t careful, you&#8217;re going to tell him to shove a stone up his arse or worse.&#8221; Azrael couldn&#8217;t help but laugh at the image of the dragon&#8217;s face in his mind at hearing such a statement, despite the gravity of the circumstance. &#8220;First off, I&#8217;m not going to decide this. You two are. I expect the two of you to spend the next hour discussing who should lead off and why. In Draconic. I expect you both to recognize the better of the two of you and to inform me when you come to that conclusion. Secondly, I&#8217;m going to have another of those cold pork sandwiches. I don&#8217;t know why Diran complains about it so much, they&#8217;re quite good with mustard.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>A while later, the cacophony of what seemed like a raspy belching contest was broken for a moment. &#8220;Azrael?&#8221; Kaenig asked.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Hmm?&#8221; Azrael had been sitting back, just drifting off.<\/p>\n<p>Miranda spoke up. &#8220;Kaenig will be leading off.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Okay, fine. Hopefully we&#8217;ll find the lair and he&#8217;ll let us talk to him before he eats us.&#8221; His eyes didn&#8217;t open as he said this.<\/p>\n<p>Kaenig paled a bit. &#8220;Do you think he might?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;He&#8217;s a dragon, and we&#8217;re showing up on his doorstep. Do you appreciate it at home when Eloanna&#8217;s Witnesses come knocking?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Gods, I didn&#8217;t think of it like that.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Worse, Kaenig, because dragons don&#8217;t generally like visitors at all. They take great pain to make sure their lairs are private.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I knew that, but wow, I hadn&#8217;t really connected the words to reality. We&#8217;re really going to do this, aren&#8217;t we?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I didn&#8217;t just walk up here for my health or to let Miranda pull me over a cliff, Kaenig. Get some sleep. You&#8217;ve got a hard job to do, and I don&#8217;t want you losing your voice before I need you to use it.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Kaenig slept. Miranda might have. Azrael couldn&#8217;t tell &#8211; and he didn&#8217;t.<\/p>\n<p>Dawn must have risen several hours later, the blackness outside painting the wind turned into a deep grey, showing the silver slipstream of raindrops whipping around and making the ground a slurry of wet gravel. The three descended out of their pocket hideaway, which Kaenig dismissed with a snap of his fingers. The rope fell to the ground, and Kaenig wrapped it up hand-over-elbow before stowing it in his pack. As he did, Azrael pulled a dark sueded sack from his own pack. He then pulled an oiled canvas satchel and unrolled it.<\/p>\n<p>From the suede sack he drew an impossibly large gold statuette of an Eldurin couple dancing, inset with small rubies and sapphires. The other two watched as he wrapped it up in the satchel. &#8220;Take only what you need for today, you two. Park the rest of your gear under that outcrop right there. We&#8217;ll come back for it later today, if we live.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>They did as he instructed them, and when done the three continued up the slope.<\/p>\n<p>Azrael was surprised at how simple finding the lair was &#8211; he&#8217;d been expecting it to be disguised, or only accessible vertically. No such thing. He came around a corner and found himself face to face with an enormous cave mouth, easily twenty feet high and twice that wide. A ledge the size of a ball pitch lay out before the mouth of the cave, with obvious marks where the great beast had drawn its claws.<\/p>\n<p>Of the dragon, there was no sign.<\/p>\n<p>The three of them walked up to the mouth of the cave, just deep enough to be out of the rain. Azrael held up his hand to halt them. &#8220;I&#8217;d rather not trespass any further than we have already, please. He&#8217;s already going to be pissed off with us just being on the mountain, I&#8217;d rather not walk into the cave and embarrass him while he&#8217;s using the toilet or something as well.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Miranda snickered just a little at the thought, Kaenig just went slightly more pale.<\/p>\n<p>Azrael walked over to Kaenig. &#8220;Okay, your turn to shine. I want you to shout this as clearly and as loudly as you can: Vargan Lightweaver, Tempest of the Bonegate, Captain Azrael Ille Macreane of the Cairn Jale seeks an audience with you.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>As Kaenig cupped his hands and began shouting undecipherable trumpetings down into the cavern, Azrael pulled out the statuette and placed it upon the floor of the cavern.<\/p>\n<p>Kaenig fell silent. Azrael looked over at him, and said &#8220;And I bring a gift for you to respectfully request your forgiveness for our intrusion.&#8221; Kaenig shouted something else down the hole.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Now, we all three back out and wait, and hopefully he&#8217;s home and hopefully he won&#8217;t kill us.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>They retreated out onto the ledge. Mercifully, the rain had let up a bit while Kaenig was reciting his greeting.<\/p>\n<p>After a few minutes of watching the entrance, Azrael began to feel mildly stupid. He simply didn&#8217;t know what to do next. &#8220;Pass me a sandwich, Miranda.&#8221; As he began to eat it, he looked over to where Kaenig was gazing over the side of the ledge. &#8220;Kaenig, please stick close. I don&#8217;t want you slipping over when a random gust pushes you, and I don&#8217;t want it to look like we&#8217;re doing recon on the dragon&#8217;s lair.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Did you see those claw marks? That must be where he takes off and lands! They&#8217;re HUGE!&#8221; Kaenig was as excited as a little child.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Yes, I saw them. Be glad they&#8217;re not in your belly right now. Let&#8217;s all three sit for a bit. I want to look as inoffensive as possible.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Miranda looked over at him. &#8220;You might want to cover your face then, sir.&#8221; The three fell silent for a few moments, until Miranda finally began to quietly snort with laughter. In moments all three of them were quietly laughing.<\/p>\n<p>Azrael rubbed a few tears from his eyes. &#8220;Good thing Balenor didn&#8217;t hear you say that, or he&#8217;d crack you over the head with the pommel for that.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Sorry, sir, just feeling the moment.&#8221; She smiled. &#8220;If I&#8217;m going to die, might as well be laughing.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m afraid too, Lieutenant, but I think this will work.&#8221; Azrael looked over at Kaenig, who nodded.<\/p>\n<p>Three hours passed. Azrael was about to tell them to pick up and head back to their last campsite when he realized that deep in the cave, something he&#8217;d thought was simply a stone outcrop wasn&#8217;t. Perhaps it was the way the light fell into the cave this time of day, or perhaps the beast had stealthily crept up the tunnel while they were paying little attention.<\/p>\n<p>The dragon was there. He was right there.<\/p>\n<p>Azrael sat bolt upright and held up his hand to silence the other two. Kaenig, who had been taking a bite of a sandwich, mumbled &#8220;Huh?&#8221; and looked over at the hole. The sandwich dropped from his hands, which he quickly retrieved, never taking his eyes off the cave. Miranda shivered a little, and stood up quietly. Azrael also stood, beckoning Kaenig to move alongside of him.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Both of you, bow, right now.&#8221; They did as he instructed, and he bowed as well.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Kaenig, translate,&#8221; Kaenig looked over at him and nodded.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Lord Vargan, Tempest of Bonegate, I humbly thank you for the hospitality you have shown in allowing my companions and I to await you at your doorstep.&#8221; Kaenig made sounds that Azrael didn&#8217;t think were possible out of a Shadrim, much less a human, and had to look over just to make sure the young magician wasn&#8217;t choking on his sandwich. No, he was actually speaking.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I come to you, Lord Lightweaver, to greet you on behalf of the Cairn Jale and to request a boon from your Lordship be granted unto us.&#8221; Kaenig continued the strange resonant notes and rattlings.<\/p>\n<p>Azrael came up from his bow and walked three steps forward, then went down on one knee, inclining his head towards the dragon slightly.<\/p>\n<p>He waited. Kaenig and Miranda, noticing Azrael&#8217;s stance, echoed it.<\/p>\n<p>The first hint of motion was a spark of electricity from the roof of the tunnel onto something that glittered. It almost seemed as though the mountain was reforming a portion of itself, detaching itself and moving out of the shadows.<\/p>\n<p>The beast emerged from the hole.<\/p>\n<p>Its wings were folded, but the great sinuous body and neck slowly weaved back and forth, much as a snake sidling up for a strike. Its claws made almost no sound at all on the stone, it had such grace. The enormous ivory horn protruding from the beast&#8217;s snout gave focus to its eyes, which were huge orbs of the palest gray. It moved up until no more than twenty feet separated Azrael and itself, and rapidly rose up to sit like some magnificent cat. It&#8217;s wing membranes fluttered slightly in the breeze. Thunder echoed lazily from above.<\/p>\n<p>It spoke, like a symphony in brass, clashing cymbals, and gnashing teeth. Kaenig, trembling, nodded and stammered to Azrael. &#8220;Your visit is unexpected, Captain, and while your gift is appreciated, the visit is not. Why have you come here and disturbed me in my home?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Azrael did not look at Kaenig as he replied. &#8220;Forgive me, my Lord, I had no means by which to bring you missive other than to personally do so. I also felt to do so in any other way might reflect more poorly on my purpose than to bring it to you directly. I come to seek a bargain with your Lordship.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Kaenig mediated the exchange with shaking hands. &#8220;You are correct in at least that much, Shadrim. What manner of bargain?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Your Lordship being aware of the war between Bael Turath and Arkhosia, I come to beg a small favor, petty in the doings of your Lordship, but grand in the scale of my kind&#8230;&#8221; Azrael was about to continue, when the dragon fell forward onto all fours, its snout only feet away from his chest. Azrael actually had to tilt his head to one side to view one of the beasts eyes. He was inwardly thrilled that he had not had much to drink since they broke camp, for he surely would have released any weight his bladder might have been carrying just then.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Let us dispense with your translator, Captain. His knowledge is acceptable, but his practice causes my ears to itch.&#8221; The common tongue sounded like a round of explosions from the beast&#8217;s throat, but he could still understand it. Azrael could smell acrid air on the thing&#8217;s breath, feel the crackle of static in his hair. He realized as he felt this that he was on a perfect line to be electrocuted if the beast were to simply burp in his direction.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;As you wish, my Lord. Kaenig, please return to the camp.&#8221; Kaenig muttered a quick &#8220;Mm-hmm&#8221; and was gone.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Now, what makes you believe you have not wasted your time and mine traipsing up my mountain to enlist my aid in your war? How do you know I won&#8217;t simply kill you? I might very well be a follower of Zehir, might I not?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;My Lord, if I may be so bold, you do not strike me as the type to worship poison and crawling upon the Earth. I also see that you have had no association with the war to date.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Astute. What else?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;My Lord, your reputation has always been one of strength and independence. No other would contest you, even from among your own kin &#8211; you have never bowed your head to any.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;True words, but you are blowing smoke up my tail. Very well, what is your bargain?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I bring word of an intrusion into your territory by the Arkhosians. Even now, a force of as many as two hundred flying drake cavalry move towards your mountain, with the intent of joining their battalion near the human town of Nine Falls.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Interesting, but that is not a bargain.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;No, my Lord is correct. I merely give you this information freely, that you may seek out and punish those who would cross your lands without so much as a&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Get to the point.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Yes sir. I am commissioned to offer you a bounty, my Lord &#8211; the Cairn Jale offers 100 Turathian gold menals for each drake you destroy.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;That hardly seems a pittance.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;My Lord, on completion of the downing of all two hundred, that is twenty thousand menals.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I am capable of multiplication, Captain.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;My apologies, Lord.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Why should I not simply kill you, take the gift, and destroy your little camp down there?&#8221; As he said this, Vargan sidled over to the ledge and glanced down the mountainside. Azrael was fairly certain he could not see the camp from up here, but given a dragon&#8217;s ability to map out his own territory, it would not have surprised him if the beast could spot the trail they&#8217;d taken to get there. He did not move, and kept his eyes down.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;That is your prerogative, my Lord. However, sir, having the friendship of the Cairn Jale can be a profitable relationship. There may also be benefit to future alliance with us.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;So, I cannot be your only hope in this effort. You knew you risked life and limb coming here. What haven&#8217;t you told me yet?&#8221; Its head snaked back, to stop just behind Azrael. He realized that it&#8217;s jaws were fully as long as he was tall. He found a part of his mind cataloging the experience, and noting with some surprise that Vargans breath held no smell at all.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;My lord, my team and I evacuated three villages sequentially along the expected path and spread a poison among the livestock remaining. I expect many of the drakes will be sick or dying soon.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Underhanded, but smart. So, you offer me twenty thousand menals to kill as many as two hundred drakes, some of which might be already sick or dying, as they pass through my lands. Is that correct?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;My lord, your understanding is correct.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I shall consider your offer. You may leave the coin here now, and if I decide to accept, you will know.&#8221; As Vargan said this, he walked casually back to the entrance of his den, his head constantly pointed in Azrael&#8217;s direction and holding a steady height while his body shifted around it.<\/p>\n<p>Azrael nodded, and reached into his pack for the suede bag. The dragon&#8217;s eyes narrowed to slits as he did this, though Azrael did not stop moving. Miranda twitched a few times, obviously wanting to say something, but could not bring herself to interrupt. Vargan&#8217;s eyes shifted to her for a moment, then back to Azrael.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Tell me, Captain, who is your battlemaster?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;My Lord?&#8221; Azrael stopped, confused for a moment. &#8220;Lord Balenor is my battlemaster, sir.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Vargan tilted his head to one side for a moment. &#8220;Is that all he is to you? Solely your battlemaster?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m not sure I take your meaning, my Lord.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Have you signed no pact with him beyond your military obligation?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;No, my Lord. Balenor is only my battlemaster.&#8221; As he said this, Azrael began scooping coins out of the bag and piling them on the ledge.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I see. Please express my regards to him if you see him again.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I shall, my Lord. You have met, then?&#8221; Azrael suddenly found himself very curious at this turn of events.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Indeed we have, though at the time we were acting at purposes that did not necessarily agree.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;My Lord is most gracious to forgive opposition.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;We were not opposed, we simply were not allied.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I see, my Lord. I shall convey your greeting to him at the first opportunity.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;See that you do. You may go when you are done emptying that bag.&#8221; The dragon turned and moved deeper into the hole. His broad tail moved gracefully past Azrael, hovering inches off the ground as it trailed the beast into its home.<\/p>\n<p>Azrael found his hands shaking as he finished emptying the last of the coins onto the ground. He turned to Miranda. &#8220;Let&#8217;s go,&#8221; he said, and she nodded quickly while climbing to her feet. As they rounded the corner away from the den, she kept looking back.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Stop that. If he decides to kill us, there&#8217;s nothing that looking back will do for you. He is a foe far beyond the three of us, never mind you or I alone.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>When they reached Kaegin, he was seated on the rocks near where they&#8217;d spent the night. He rose quickly and came to them. &#8220;You&#8217;re alive, thank goodness. How did it go? What did he say?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;That he&#8217;ll think about it.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;If he didn&#8217;t agree just now, how will we get payment to him when he&#8217;s killed the drakes?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I left the money there.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You WHAT??&#8221;&#8221;I &#8216;what&#8217;, sir.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Sorry sir, but you just left the money there?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Let&#8217;s get moving. I&#8217;ll explain more as we go, but we&#8217;re still too close to his lair to be discussing this.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>They re-roped themselves, and began their descent. When they stopped for lunch, Miranda spoke up. &#8220;So you left the money there, I don&#8217;t understand why.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Well, for starters, he knew I had it with me. He wasn&#8217;t asking me to leave it there, he was telling me to. I was not about to leave both the money and my body on that ledge, as I surely would have if I had refused that command.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Kaenig nodded. &#8220;I hadn&#8217;t thought about that. He probably could smell it on you or something.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Azrael shrugged. &#8220;Whatever the case was, he knew or strongly suspected I had it. If I didn&#8217;t leave it, we&#8217;d all be dead now. Besides, I think he knew we weren&#8217;t really negotiating. Notice how he claimed all the money, not the per-head price we originally brought him?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Miranda nodded, &#8220;Yes, but I thought that was because he was greedy, like all dragons.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Partially. The other reason is because I suspect he was going to attack the drakes anyway as soon as he was told about them. Unless Arkhosia already had an alliance with him and had made arrangements &#8211; and they didn&#8217;t, or he&#8217;d have killed us as soon as I mentioned we were from the Cairn Jale &#8211; then they&#8217;re trespassing. Dragons don&#8217;t take that lightly. If it was just a force on the ground, that&#8217;s not such a big deal. Might draw some attention, and they might be forced to pay a toll, but groundlings are barely worth noticing to a dragon.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Flying cavalry, particularly drakes, now that encroaches on a dragon&#8217;s sky. I don&#8217;t know much about them in detail, but no beast or man takes kindly to someone else moving in on his space. If I&#8217;m a blacksmith, I won&#8217;t be so friendly if an ironmonger tries to open up a shop ten feet from my forge. Drakes are close enough in appearance, eat similar things, and in particular they fly. All these things will stir a competitive jealousy. And what better creature to foster jealousy in than a dragon? I have to assume the Arkhosians didn&#8217;t know about Vargan having his lair here, or they&#8217;d have made arrangements with him ahead of time. That, or they&#8217;d have skirted his territory. In any case, it doesn&#8217;t matter. Our job is done. Let&#8217;s get down and get out of here before he decides to take us just for fun.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The rest of the climb down went uneventfully, and at camp Azrael relayed the information to the rest of the team. They were all packing up and getting ready to depart when Azrael heard the great trumpeting roar in the distance&#8230;looking up at the mountain, he saw Vargan circling high above them. Another howling shout from above, and Vargan angled away in the direction from which Azrael and his team had come. How the beast knew which way to go, Azrael had no idea. He was just glad to see the thing wasn&#8217;t diving down to attack his team.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The days, and all three towns, passed quickly. Azrael made sure his men were fed well &#8211; with so many pigs to choose from, pork became a standard among the traveling war band. Their travel between the townships was for &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/borkedcode.com\/wp\/?page_id=35\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":19,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-35","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/borkedcode.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/35","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/borkedcode.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/borkedcode.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/borkedcode.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/borkedcode.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=35"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/borkedcode.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/35\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":42,"href":"https:\/\/borkedcode.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/35\/revisions\/42"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/borkedcode.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/19"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/borkedcode.com\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=35"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}